


corellian rum

by sabito



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Drinking, First Kiss, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Self-Acceptance, a sweet emotionally charged break from all of the heartache and grief they've been going through, tipsy shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 16:37:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18347543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabito/pseuds/sabito
Summary: Hours after their escape from Crait, Poe makes a discovery.





	corellian rum

Hours after their escape from Crait, most of the passengers aboard the ship had fallen asleep, heavily worn out from a battle no one thought they’d survive. Everyone was utterly exhausted, to the bone, coming down from their life-or-death adrenaline high. Poe drifted from the main group, at first intent on exploring the famed  _Millennium Falcon_  himself. It was a half-assed attempt to rid his mind of all the people they lost. Pain and loss came with the job, that was a given. It never made it any easier.

It didn’t take long at all for Poe to discover the alcohol. He was sniffing around in one of the storage rooms in the  _Falcon_ , trying to distract himself enough so he didn’t dwell on the dark thoughts that swam around in his head. There, hidden away, he found a crate of Corellian Rum. Satisfied with his find, and feeling more than deserving of it, Poe found himself a spot to sit and savor his treasure, far away from the rest of the party on the ship.

Perhaps it wasn’t the smartest idea to get drunk, so shortly after their fight. There was so much going on, and who knew where the First Order was hiding away, how soon they’d find them again. Poe’s exceptional,  _sober_ , piloting skills were needed in case of an emergency. But even so, he threw back drink after drink, stewing in his loss and despair.

It didn’t take long for someone to find him.

“Poe?”

The pilot glanced up at the surprised tone of Finn, ex-stormtrooper, honorary Resistance member, and the very man who saved his life. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he felt his heart do a little flip as the corner of his mouth lifted into an easy half-smile.

“Hey, buddy.” He greeted softly. “I thought you’d be with Rey or Rose right now.”

Finn plopped himself down on the floor, right next to Poe. They were close enough for their thighs to brush against each other. Poe took another swig of booze.

“Rose is being looked after right now, and Rey is busy speaking with General Organa.” He explained, eyes trained on the bottle in Poe’s hand. “Is that alcohol?”

Poe chuckled, tilting the bottle towards Finn’s curious gaze. “Want some?”

The slight intimidation that grew evident on Finn’s face made Poe’s heart swell with —  _what?_  pity? adoration?

“I’ve never tried any. I mean, as a stormtrooper we never had access to any.”

Poe’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. “ _Buddy._  You mean to tell me that you’re about to share your first alcoholic experience ever with me?” He grinned. Finn chuckled, a small smile building on his own lips.

“Yeah, I guess? Does it taste bad?”

“It’s an acquired taste. That’s not really the point of it, though.” He laughed softly.

Finn nodded, reaching out to take the bottle of Corellian Rum from Poe’s proffered hand. He swished around the contents for a second before lifting it up and taking a drink. He made a face as he swallowed it and Poe chuckled, tugging the bottle back to him to take another swig. “Don’t worry, it’s not for everyone.” He snickered.

“It’s not... bad.” Finn insisted. Poe raised an eyebrow. “No, seriously, I’ve had worse.”

“Worse? What did the First Order  _give_  you?”

“Dude, no, you don’t understand. Back on Jakku, I was so thirsty I drank from this beast’s dirty water trough. After that, I became a hardened man.”

Poe burst out laughing. He felt warm at Finn’s smile. It was nice. Poe couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so freely, smiled until his cheeks hurt. Finn was like sunshine, and he craved his warmth. They shared the entire bottle of rum, and Poe brought out another one with a lip bite and suggestive eyebrow waggle. Finn snickered, grabbing it from him. The momentum from his movements left him swaying, nearly falling over. Poe reached out to steady him, letting his hands linger a little too long.

“Finn, buddy, I think you might be a lightweight.” Poe chuckled.

Finn shrugged, throwing back another drink. Poe took the bottle back, starting to worry a bit. Finn proved time and time again that he knew how to handle himself, but it was his first time drunk. If anything were to happen to him, it would be Poe’s fault. He didn’t know if he could shoulder any more guilt.

“I’m a little dizzy, but I feel fine. Definitely not drunk.”

“That’s what all drunks say.” Poe teased.

“Yeah, whatever.” Finn replied, shoving at Poe’s shoulder good-naturedly. Poe chuckled, but suddenly Finn seemed a lot more somber, frown tugging at his lips and brows creasing. His hand slowly returned to his lap, turning the bottle around, lost in thought.

Poe raised a brow. “Finn? You alright?”

Finn let out a deep, heaving sigh. “Rose...” He paused, swallowing thickly. His tongue swiped out to moisten his lips, and no matter how distracting the little movement had the potential to be, Poe kept his eyes trained on Finn’s. “She... she kissed me.”

Ice shot through Poe’s insides, but he ignored the feeling. Instead, he nodded understandingly. “You two did seem to be close...”

Finn shook his head vehemently, eyes wide. “No, you don’t understand —  _I_  don’t even understand. What we had... I didn’t know...” Finn looked frustrated, nose crinkling up adorably. Poe strongly resisted the urge to reach out and smooth the wrinkles it made.

“Do you have feelings for her?” Poe pressed on gently, wanting to keep it at a pace Finn felt comfortable with. Whatever Finn felt okay with sharing, Poe would listen to, and he wouldn’t pressure him for anything else.

He was surprised when Finn shook his head no, then shrugged.

“You don’t know?” Poe asked softly.

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know. It’s confusing. What I  _do_  know, though, is that I didn’t even kiss her back and now she could be  _dying—_ ”

“Hey, don’t say things like that—” Poe frowned.

Finn stopped in his tirade, chest swelling as he inhaled, then slowly exhaled, shaking his head. “...Rey would kick my ass if she heard the way I was speaking right now.”

“Yeah, I believe it.” Poe said, and he meant it. He’d only just met Rey, and only for a brief minute, but she seemed like the type of no-nonsense woman Finn implied she was.

“I just... don’t think I like her that way. N-not Rose in particular! But... women.” Finn mumbled. “Like Rey for instance. She’s beautiful, but I don’t feel the urge to kiss her, y’know? Not like I do when it comes to— nevermind. I don’t know. I guess I’m more messed up than I thought.” He let out a short, humorless laugh. It was a dark sound, one that struck Poe more than any slap would have.

“Finn. Stop it. There is nothing wrong with you.” The pilot’s words were ushered almost angrily. He went to his knees to grab both of Finn’s shoulders and look him in the eyes. “Different people have different preferences when it comes to romance. You prefer men. And you’re not alone, buddy, so do  _I_. Jessika is only attracted to women. Some people are attracted to both genders. Some aren’t attracted to anyone. There is a whole galaxy out there, full of people who like different things. If anything, you’re normal.” Poe grinned reassuringly.

“Normal...” Finn said, tasting the word on his tongue. “Being gay in the First Order was anything but normal.” He shrugged, taking a sip from the bottle. “Relationships and any unnecessary physical contact in general was unsanctioned and a cause for reconditioning.”

Bile threatened to make its way up Poe’s throat. Just when he thought the First Order couldn’t surprise him any more...

“Yeah, well, that’s bullshit. The First Order was wrong, like they are about everything else.” Poe couldn’t keep the venom from his voice. He clenched his teeth in anger, reaching out to grab and take a deep drink from the rum. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, feeling Finn’s eyes on him.

“So...” Finn started. “You’re gay too, then?”

Poe froze. The sudden implications sinking into his skin and bones. He flicked his gaze over to Finn, and his stomach rolled when he realized he couldn’t decipher his expression.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m gay, buddy.” Poe thumbed the label of the rum bottle. Suddenly, Finn’s fingers were over his, halting his movements. Poe barely dared to breathe. He met Finn’s beautiful dark eyes, and his heart jumped to his throat when he saw the faint flush in his cheeks. He swallowed, licking his lips. “And nobody here is going to treat us any differently for it. What the First Order believes — those values don’t hold any weight out there in the real galaxy, not really.”

Finn nodded, deep in thought. He licked his own lips, a movement which Poe watched with bated breath, and nodded again. “Poe... will you kiss me?”

“—Wh-what?” Poe’s words came out as a strangled whisper. His brain struggled to catch up. Surely he didn’t hear that right...

“It’s just... I’ve never had a chance to actually kiss another man...” Finn trailed off, looking distinctly flustered. Poe bit his lip, trying to stamp down any hopes or expectations that rapidly started to arise. Finn was curious. Finn trusted him. This didn’t mean anything. “And, well...” Finn continued on, eyes not letting go of their hold within Poe’s. "It’s something I’ve wanted to do since I first saw you again back on D’Qar.”

_...Fuck._

Poe bit his lip, nodding jerkily. When had they gotten so close together? He couldn’t think straight anymore. His eyes flickered down to Finn’s full lips, then back up to his eyes, which were fully dilated. “Yeah.” He breathed. The ring that hung from his neck suddenly felt very heavy. “I know what you mean.”

Finn’s eyes widen with surprise. Poe set aside the bottle of rum, scooting closer to Finn so their legs were pressed together, and cupped Finn’s cheek. His thumb stroked the soft skin, and Finn leaned into it. His brain felt foggy and messy, his nerve-endings electric. Their lips hovered, hot breath brushing each other’s mouths. Finn leaned up and smushed his lips against Poe’s with a tiny groan. Poe, involuntarily, reached out to grab the back of Finn’s head for better access.

It got heavy quick — _too_  quick, thanks to the rum. Finn gasped when Poe used his teeth to tug on his bottom lip, and he used the opening to slide his tongue in, angling Finn’s head just right, relishing the noise Finn made in return. For what Finn lost in inexperience, he made up in enthusiasm. He tried to copy the strokes of Poe’s tongue, and Poe made a noise in the back of his throat when he realized that Finn was a fast learner. They gripped each other like a life line, like it was their last night together alive, which it could have been. Finn’s fingers were twined in Poe’s hair, gently tugging on his curls, the other hand slid up his arm urgently, only to reach out and cup his cheek.

Poe whimpered into Finn’s mouth at the sweet gesture. He pulled back suddenly, his mind a haze of fog, and leaned back in to kiss Finn softly, more chaste. He held the back of Finn’s head, knocking their foreheads together gently, noses brushing, breath mingling.

“Whoa...” Finn finally spoke up, his voice rougher, deeper.

Poe said nothing. He was panting, thumb stroking over Finn’s cheekbone, searching his eyes.

“Poe..?” Finn asked, unsure, and he gnawed on his kiss-swollen lower lip between his teeth. Poe’s eyes flickered down to it for just a second.

“ _Finn_.” He groaned, letting go and leaning back against the wall with a sigh. He closed his eyes, head swimming.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Wha—? Did you—?  _Stars_ , no!” Poe lurched forward again, grabbing Finn’s wrist and looking into his eyes. “Finn, pal, listen, you did great. It was great. More than great. I just...” He trailed off, running an impatient hand through his curls. “The  _timing_...”

Finn raised his brows. “You don’t want this.”

“Finn...” Poe trailed off, guilt churning in his belly. “It’s not that I don’t — no, no, that’s not it at all. I  _do_  want this.” He vowed sincerely, moving to cup Finn’s cheek again. He stroked the soft skin with the pad of his thumb, looking deeply into his eyes to convey the emotion he so keenly felt. “You’re — Finn,  _buddy_ , you’re fucking perfect, okay? I’ve wanted this ever since I first saw you.”

Finn frowned. “Then why—” Poe shook his head, and Finn stopped, clamping his mouth shut again.

“I just want to know if this is really what you want. We don’t have to make this into anything. There doesn’t need to be any rules. I’m happy to just be here with you in this moment.” Poe bit his lip. No matter how painful it was, no matter how badly he wanted Finn, he was telling the truth. He wasn’t sure if Finn even knew what he wanted himself.

Finn surprised him by letting out a snort.

Poe blinked, hand falling down. “Wha—”

“Please, Poe, give me some credit.” Finn said, catching Poe’s hand with his own. “I would never use you like that.”

Poe paused, hardly daring to breathe. “So... what you’re saying is...?”

“I  _care_  for you, Poe.” Finn said, the implication on ‘care’ heavy, the underlying meaning unmistakable.

Poe swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing, feeling a mixture of dread and euphoria. His limp fingers, still caught in Finn’s steady hold, twisted around to intertwine with the other mans. Finn’s. And just like that, the floodgates opened, and every feeling he’d been trying to repress crashed down on him. His strong affection for Finn, warm and tingly, making his heart pound in his chest. He belatedly realized that his cheeks were blushing.

Finn started to smile again, tightening his fingers around Poe’s.

“I... care for you too, Finn.” Poe whispered back, his own smile beginning to mirror Finn’s.

“Good. Otherwise this would have been pretty awkward.” Finn said.

Poe let out a laugh, chest feeling lighter than it had in a long time. His other hand reached out to stroke Finn’s cheekbone, eyes raking in his features. The way Finn made him feel... well, he was a romantic to the bone, there was just no denying it, but somehow he felt different than he had with anyone in the past. The future was uncertain. Either of them could die tomorrow, and they both had duties to fulfill within the Resistance. But still, maybe carving out a small slice of happiness, for however long it would last, wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Poe trusted his gut, and Finn felt right.


End file.
